Pregnancy test was today...

And it was negative. Not sure where we will go from here. The RE wants us to come in to the office to discuss IUI and IVF and see which way we want to go.

Triggered and waiting....

Triggered last night and in another 2 week wait. Preg. test is July 12.

A lot of people don't understand what it feels like to want a baby so bad and to battle infertility. This video explains it very well. Take a look at this...

On to another month...

Went for the baseline ultrasound this morning just to make sure no cysts. Everything looked good. So I get the remainder of my prescriptions today. That was a hard ultrasound to go for. We were suppose to be looking for a baby this time - not just doing a baseline. The tech said "I'm sorry" so many times. It's good they are so caring - don't get me wrong. It just still hurts and all the "I'm Sorrys" - oh I don't know. Guess I'm just in a depressed mood.

Well - anyway - on to another month of clomid. Hopefully we'll get the sticky bean this time. Crossing my fingers and praying!!

Test results...

Preg. blood test came back today. Showed another chemical pregnancy. I don't understand this at all. We are trying another month of clomid and if it doesn't work - moving on to IUI.

Another 2 week wait...

Had the ultrasound Tuesday. There are 3 eggs this time!!! Took the trigger shot Tuesday afternoon and we are now waiting for 2 weeks before we know. Praying and crossing our fingers. All the bloodwork earlier in the month looked good. Just going to try the Clomid a couple more months before moving on to the next step.

Pregnancy test today...

It was negative. Go in for more bloodwork in about a week to see what to do next.

Progesterone Test...

Today I had my progesterone test. It was 56!!!!! That is a really good number! The nurse said that they will do the pregnancy test on May 14th. So now we cross our fingers and pray this all worked out.

We got eggs!!!

Went for my ultrasound this morning. There were 2. The one of the left is 25 and the one on the right is 18. The tech said they will call me with the instructions but most likely trigger tonight. As I was getting ready to leave she said " Well - the next time I see you maybe you will be knocked up". I laughed and said " lord - I hope so" LOL.

Savings for IVF

Ultrasound....

I had the ultrasound this morning. There were no cysts!!! I have 7 follicles on the left side and 9 on the right. Started the clomid today. Take 100 mg a day for 7 days. The next ultrasound should be at the end of next week.

New Plan....

The RE is monitoring me with the clomid. I go for a ultrasound tomorrow. If no cysts I will start the clomid tomorrow. Then I will have another ultrasound April 30 to check how many follicles I have and how big they are. Here is the fun part - I will give myself a trigger shot probably around April 30th if the follicles are big enough. Whooohooo - I get to give myself a shot (lol).

Oh well - not this time...

On to the 2nd month of Clomid. A little disappointed but that's ok. It has to work eventually - right?

Things you didn't know before trying to conceive (ttc)

The Things You Didn't Know Before TTC

1 That unprotected sex doesn't necessarily lead to pregnancy.
2 That your sex life would start to resemble a science experiment.
3 That the longer you TTC, the more PG women spring up around you.
4 That deep down inside, I can be a very jealous person.
5 That I would know more about the female reproductive system and menstrual cycle than most of the doctors I go to.
6 That living your life in 2 week increments would be the norm
7 That you never knew how much you wanted to see those 2 pink lines......until only one shows up every month
8 That simply relaxing will NOT get you pregnant.
9 That you have no control over some of the goals you set...
10 That wishing really hard for something doesn't make it happen, and staring at your chart doesn't make it change!
11 That a pregnancy doesn't always equal a baby.
12 That miscarriage is so common.
13 That my friends' pregnancies would start to make me sad instead of happy.
14 That I wasted A LOT of money on Birth control pills!!
15 That my DH is the most wonderful and caring man!
16 That it is insensitive to ask people when they are having a baby!
17 That I would be happy to see abundant cervical fluid and tell my DH about it.
18 That had I bought stock in Clearblue Easy I'd have my mansion on St. Pete's Beach in FL by now.
19 That docs should prescribe Zoloft with Clomid.
20 That having AF show up makes you cry, no matter who's bathroom you are in.
21 That it does not get easier, each cycle is harder than the last.
22 That I wouldn't want to hold or see someone's baby because it just hurts way too much.
23 That talking about sex with fellow TTCers would be so easy
24 That one day all of this will make us stronger.
25 That no one I know (in my non FF life) would have any understanding as to how I feel.
26 That my temper and patience are much shorter than I ever thought.
27 That I would find it extremely difficult to be happy for other people's pregnancies and I would burst into tears upon hearing their news.
28 That I would make so many new, wonderful friends who totally get how I feel because we are all going through the same thing.
29 That I would know about other peoples' BD, CP, CM but not know their real name, their DH's name, or their occupation.
30 That I would become NUMB to the wonderful world around me that I already have (DH, family, friends, dogs, fun, etc)!
31 That I would become addicted to POAS and not sleep at night because I couldn't wait to POAS in the morning!
32 That I would learn to speak in code
Like I checked CM which was EWCM but when I will POAS who knows, DH won't let me for fear of BFN
33 That you HAVE to have sex even though you don't feel like it, but because your FM says high or peak.
34 That I would dream about taking my temperature and be disappointed if I woke up at 3am and it wasn't time yet.
35 That I would buy herbs and otc creams like vitex and progest, use them for two days, and then chicken out.
36 That the two little words of "just relax" uttered by everyone I know would infuriate me beyond belief.
37 That it puts this much strain on a marriage
38 That I would have to listen to people complain about their children as if they were burdens while a child is the one thing in the world I want the most. Also, they sound as if they are trying to talk me out of having kids, like it is the absolute worst thing that could ever happen to me.
39 That you would tell everyone you're not ready for a child when they ask what your waiting for.
40 That answering questions (and usually lying) about pregnancy or family plans would hurt so bad.

It's the waiting game....

I ovulated!! I am 4 days past ovulation - 9 days until testing! Praying this is a success this month and we get that positive!

Pain...

I am in soooo much pain. My ovaries hurt like hell. It has been painful for 3 days now. It is throbbing. I swear I must have 20 eggs in there right now. Two more weeks and maybe I will have that positive preg. test. That would be great. James' birthday is the 15th so that would be the best birthday present for him.

Day 5

OK - I admit the mood swings are in full force now. Hot flashes too. The poor kids think I am crazy (lol). Well - 2 more days and that will be it for these little pills. Then I just sit back and wait for everything and pray this is a success.

You know - we want a baby bad to go through all of this. I had my "tubes tied" for 10 years before getting the tubal reversal. When I was younger I could get pregnant so easily. Now it just seems to be so difficult. I never thought it would take so long. I was so excited to know I was whole again and could have a baby. Now - month after month is full of disappointment. I wonder how much longer my arms will be empty before I finally have a baby in them. I wonder if this first month of the clomid will work or if I will have to go through several months of it. Then again - you can only take it for 6 months max. If it doesn't work then - well - I guess the next step will be IVF.

Waiting - Hopeing - praying. This is a long road; but one day will be so worth it all.

Day 4 Clomid

Not feeling to much today. Not a lot of hot flashes or mood swings. That's a good thing. I am sure everyone around me appreciates that. :)

Clomid Day 3

Well - so much for no side effects. Last night I felt like my ovaries were beating the heck out of me. They were throbbing. Hot flashes are here. That is horrible. I don't know which is worse. So far no mood swings. That's a good thing.

Day 2 of Clomid.....

So far no side effects. I hope I can avoid those. Feeling good this morning. James is being real helpful with it - he called this morning from work and said "don't forget your medicine". LOL - I think he is a little excited about this!!

Clomid

Today is my first day on clomid. Yes - you guessed it. Clomid is a fertility drug. I take 100mg everyday for 7 days. Hopefully this will be what I need. Not sure about the side effects. This could get interesting with the mood swings, hot flashes, etc. And who knows what could be in store for us as far as multiples :).
So far - no side effects. Only been 2 1/2 hours since I took it though. Will see what tomorrow brings.

A glimmer of hope and disappointment..

This past Friday I had a positive home pregnancy test....



And Sunday I had another one...



We were so happy and excited to find out we were having a baby. A brief moment of happiness until the pregnancy ended yesterday. I will have to go through a month of testing to determine what can be done to help me sustain a pregnancy. It looks to be a very long journey. Keep us in your prayers as we continue on.

Thank you, Lord for all the blessings in my life. Help me to remember them as I face the challenges of infertility. I pray that I can surrender myself into your hands. Let me accept the reality of this situation and have the wisdom and courage to take action where I can. Strengthen my body, mind and spirit to endure the trials of infertility. Keep me ever mindful of the needs of others and grant us your peace. Amen.

Disappointment

We were very disappointed that December did not bring us the miracle. I have cried more the last few weeks than I have all year with this journey. The is so hard for me. I wish it would just happen overnight - but all in God's perfect timing.

We are now in our 2nd month of trying and are now in the 2 week wait again. Please pray for us that this will be our month. Also pray that God will give us the strength to continue on.